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What is considered reasonable at the UN?

Things that are un-reasonable.

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What is a good name for a tanning salon for men?

Tan Gent.

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What is a person called who knows a lot about eggs?

An eggs-pert.

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What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

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How does it feel sitting under a lime tree?

It feels sublime.

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Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

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Why did Arnold fly in a plane over the North Pole?

He wanted to get over a cold.

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What is the name of a locksmith store where the locksmith has blond hair

Goldi Locks.

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Why did Samantha always try to keep busy?

She didn't want to be guilty of idle worship.

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Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

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Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

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What kind of pan is very disorganized?

Pan-demonium.

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