Pictures:

What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

405

Where does superman shop for food?

The supermarket.

224

What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

2661

What is an expert thief who is second in command called?

An accomplished accomplice.

1156

What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

2912

How is the political system similar to the pages in a book?

Because everything is either justified right or justified left.

359

How did Matteo feel about being a soccer fan?

It was fan-tastic.

778

What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006

How do you describe professional athletes?

They are pro-active.

2766

What is someone called who sees a crime committed at an Apple store?

An iWitness

1240

What is the border between Finland and Russia called?

The Finish line.

830

What is the difference between an orange and a bad law?

An orange is peeled, and a bad law is repealed.

2183