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Akiva Lane
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What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

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Akiva Lane
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Where does superman shop for food?

The supermarket.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an expert thief who is second in command called?

An accomplished accomplice.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

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Akiva Lane
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How is the political system similar to the pages in a book?

Because everything is either justified right or justified left.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Matteo feel about being a soccer fan?

It was fan-tastic.

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Shane Ronay
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What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe professional athletes?

They are pro-active.

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Shane Ronay
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What is someone called who sees a crime committed at an Apple store?

An iWitness

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Akiva Lane
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What is the border between Finland and Russia called?

The Finish line.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between an orange and a bad law?

An orange is peeled, and a bad law is repealed.

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