Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

2912
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

If a pineapple is a collection of fused berries, what is it called if a detached berry doesn't want to re-join the group?

It is refusing to refuse.

712
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What's the motto of a computer programmer who enjoys programming?

I never metadata I didn't like.

146
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

If two eyes are labeled A and B, what eye is smarter?

A Eye

2667
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call a large amount of stamps?

A stamp-ede.

2122
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What runs but stays in the same place?

A nose, a watch, and a faucet.

2503
Moshe Sherizen
General
Picture

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you say when you see an elephant?

You mongous!

1527
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is the difference between an elephant and a car?

One has the trunk in the front, and the other has the trunk in the back.

951
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is ironic about a large lighthouse?

It's both a lighthouse and a heavy house at the same time.

2923
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do new packages of medicines and many aquariums and zoos have in common?

They have seals.

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