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Akiva Lane
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What is an ancient Celtic who is very flexible called?

A fluid druid.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a meal eaten by a pilot in a supersonic jet?

Fast food.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the football team surprised when their opponents punted the football?

They thought there was no punt intended.

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When the teacher said there's no such thing in English as a double positive making a negative, how did a student respond?

Yeah, right.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did one man leave the card playing group of his wife's friends?

He needed to "de-talks".

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Why is 8 followed by 9?

Because if you're offered food after you ate, you say: Nein.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the community feel that after all the planning, the new hospital was finally being built?

It was a ground-breaking event.

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Akiva Lane
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What are groups called that claim they know all the facts?

Factions.

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Akiva Lane
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What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you get someone to say 'Who's there?'

You say 'Knock, knock'

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Akiva Lane
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If Washington is the most Southern face on Mount Rushmore, what is Lincoln?

The North Face.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a public bathroom where people talk about politics?

A political potty.

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