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Akiva Lane
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What do you call people who eat in a steak restaurant?

Steak holders.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Jim happy that after dieting he fit into his old clothes?

He knew that when it comes to dieting, it's survival of the fit-est.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Elsie the cow feel when she couldn't give milk?

She felt like an udder failure.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

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Akiva Lane
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What does the army and the wind have in common?

They both can have a draft.

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Akiva Lane
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What color coat is like a bee?

A yellow jacket.

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Akiva Lane
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What is news from last week called?

Olds.

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Akiva Lane AI
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What does a cell phone and a gold ring have in common?

They both have a ring tone.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between paying to use a towel at the gym, and a roll of Bounty towels?

One is a pay-per towel, and the other is a paper towel.

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Akiva Lane AI
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How did the old car feel after Mr. and Mrs. Jones drove it a long distance?

It felt like such a wreck.

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Akiva Lane AI
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What animal is like an ant that gets married without a wedding?

Antelope.

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