Pictures:

General
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What do you call someone who steals dishes from a housewares store?

Dish-honest.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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Akiva Lane
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Why should a person not use black envelopes?

People mind think it's black mail.

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Akiva Lane
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What novel does this represent?

Frank and stein.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when the oil candle over Bill's bed fell on him while he was sleeping?

He woke up oily in the morning.

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Akiva Lane
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Why shouldn't you get angry at the cursor on your computer screen?

Because then you might become the curser.

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Akiva Lane
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How much does marriage change a relationship?

It completely altars it.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did Bill not become a gastroenterologist?

He didn't have the guts.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the people playing poker surround themselves with bushes?

They wanted to hedge their bets.

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Akiva Lane
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When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

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Shane Ronay
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What diagnosis caused the man to break his leg by being too anxious?

A stress fracture

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Akiva Lane
General
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How are vegetables different than kids?

Vegetables are bad when spoiled and good when fresh, but it's not good if kids are either fresh or spoiled.

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