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Akiva Lane
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How did John feel when his alarm clock woke him up?

He found it alarming.

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Akiva Lane
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Why wasn't Joe able to get the bank's low-interest loan?

Because the bank had low interest in giving the loan.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the Teddy Bear go outside?

It felt stuffy inside the house.

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Akiva Lane
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When the truck spilled coffee grounds all over Marvin's lawn, what did his lawyer say?

"I think we have grounds for suing the truck company."

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Yitzchak Berger
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Why was the teacher arrested for using a compass and a ruler?

They are considered weapons of maths destruction.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are the tops of mountains called 'peaks'?

Because they peek at us from a distance.

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Akiva Lane
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Will the door squeak when it's opened and closed?

That hinges on whether it is oiled.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a doctor who prescribes a daiquiri cocktail flavored with hickory?

A hickory daiquiri doc.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Bill so exhausted after a day of putting tires on the inner rings of car wheels?

It was tire ring.

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Akiva Lane
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What are the benefits of having a sense of wonder (one-der)?

It can help you feel at 'one' with everything.

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General
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What do you call a line at a party waiting for drinks?

The punch line.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an undercover cop's clothing called?

This guy's disguise.

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