Pictures:

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

What is the plural of plea?

Please.

2741

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

What can you say about a teacher without any students?

He's in a class all by himself.

1133

How are a sanitation truck and computer similar?

Both are garbage in / garbage out

590

Why did Max pay a lot of money for a bed?

Because it was a bedder bed.

713

How did the asphalt worker react to his foot being run over by a steam roller?

He was quite impressed.

582

Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

60

What is the exact enrollment at the Carmelite Convent?

Nun

1499

What does a rice farmer in the Czech Republic and a checkbook made of rice paper have in common with this image?

They're all rice chex.

2951

What is an orthodontist's main goal?

A sound bite

210

Why did the union leader start ironing his shirt?

Because he didn't want to strike until the iron was hot.

2691