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Which U.S. Army battalion drives up to and then crawls under barbed-wire fences?

Jeepers Creepers

213

What happened to the dry cleaner who processed a man's jacket with a wallet left in the pocket?

He was charged with money laundering.

581

What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

2459

How was a comedian asked to perform at the Orthopedist's Convention?

Please...humerus.

1077

What sauce can you use if you're behind in a race?

Ketchup.

1592

Why did Alan collect lots of L's?

He thought it was good to have morals.

3073

Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

577

What nickname did Billy's English teacher give him because his essays were so good?

Bill of writes.

2383

What phrase suggests that we should research potential marriage partners?

Check mate.

2080

What is a cane called that a shepherd uses to get animals to move faster?

A hurry cane.

2265

What do you call a nurse that got caught in the rain without an umbrella?

A wet nurse.

2869

Why did the bakery shoot their cake up in a rocket ship?

They want to say their cake is out-of-this-world.

1039