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Why did Bill make a rocket made of wood-work?

Because he thought it would work.

2687

How did the the drunkard summarize his drinking binge?

With a short schnapsis

181

What is a good chili recipe?

Go outside without a coat.

1470

What city gets its name because of its importance in the Universe?

University

3405

What did Larry name his new ink and toner business?

Ink, Inc.

415

Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

816

Why did Mr. and Mrs. Beaver find it hard to get along?

Because they found each other so dam a-gnawing.

59

What do you call kids eating chips?

The munch and crunch bunch.

2433

What did the seal with the broken arm say to the shark?

Do not consume when seal is broken.

1398

What happened to the person who snuck into the heated swimming pool?

He's now in hot water.

672

Why is it good to limit the amount of news you ingest every day?

It's not a coincidence that it's called De Press.

1943

What are light bulbs that are very heavy called?

Heavy bulbs.

894