Pictures:

When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

457

Since Jill was on a diet, why was she concerned that the math problems on the test were too easy?

Because they were a piece of cake.

976

How much does marriage change a relationship?

It completely altars it.

1467

What is the proper way to greet a hand truck?

Hello dolly!

196

What does a very cooked steak and a great book have in common?

They are both well done.

1744

What psychiatric tool is similar the noses of hippies?

Hip noses.

1638

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

What happened to the kitchen pot when it's owner found it's lid?

It's now fully recovered.

2626

What did Fred say when the computer store added memory to his laptop?

Thanks for the memories.

340

How did Arnold react when he got the job as conductor of the orchestra?

It was music to his ears.

521

What is Santa Claus's favorite agricultural activity?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

1542

When Anne's mother suggested that she learn how to play bridge, what was Anne's response?

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

788